Food and Friends

Eating is a very social behavior.  Sitting down at the table with your family, going out to dinner with friends, munching snacks at an office or class party… It can be hard to strike a balance between your food ideals and social mores.  So how do you balance the desire to eat as ethically as possible with the possibility of offending others who might feel judged or insulted if you don’t eat what they’re eating or serving?

This is a question that I’m still trying to resolve in my own life, but I do have a few tips.  The first thing I learned was that it is best to be upfront about any dietary restrictions you are going to try to maintain around other people.  For example, when eating with people I don’t know that well, I tend to identify myself as a vegetarian.  This is an easily understandable term to most people and usually precludes a lengthy philosophical discussion.  Identifying this way lets me hold on to a core value in my food choices while allowing me to enjoy going out to eat.  (Most restaurants have some vegetarian options, especially if you can encourage the group to go for Asian or Middle Eastern cuisines.)

However, since “vegetarian” doesn’t really adequately represent my food philosophy, I try to be more open with family and friends with whom I feel comfortable.  People who know you well are less likely to hear your ideals as confrontational or judgmental.  I’ve found people to be genuinely interested and very accommodating when I explain my personal choices regarding food.  Parents, in-laws, and friends have cooked meals for me with meat or seafood that they’ve thoughtfully selected to be environment and animal-friendly.  My parents have told me that my exploration of the ethics of food has caused them to become more informed and aware of their food choices as well.

In the end, balancing food and friends is all about compromise.  Food is supposed to nourish and sustain life, and, to my way of thinking, you can’t make food about negation and deprivation, something that cuts you off from your social circles.  Find the solution that makes you most comfortable, and invite those close to you to learn about your personal choices.  You can have your cake and eat it, too.